Thursday, October 23, 2014

The Great Adventure

In August right after the county fair ended, I drove away from my house on 5 acres leaving everything that I had worked so hard for the last ten years behind. Tears could not stop falling. I left the place that I fixed up and made our family home. On the outside I left my horse, a cat, sheep, a garden, rain, mountains, beautiful sunsets, majestic views, and space. I followed a dream that I was determined not to give up. One random emotional day of rejection, for the fifth year in a row of trying, while searching to be a teacher and not a substitute led to 5 phone calls within two hours of submitting my application to the state.
I toyed with the idea of leaving. I have never lived anywhere other than Colorado. I had to move forward. Nobody was willing to give me a chance or offer an explanation as to why they would not employ me as a teacher in their schools.The depression and anger had sunk in. My family didn't get a happy mother and wife anymore. I was resentful to my husband for being a part of the school board where I wanted to be a teacher. I was resentful to the schools I needed to find myself doing what I love. It was really difficult now that both my children were in school. Substituting was not easy anymore. I was tired of never seeing the same students twice and being sent all over three districts.
Interviews poured in over skype and when I got the call to visit one district. I took it. After touring several schools and meeting many administrators, I made my choice. Now to go tell my family that I made the decision, but I did take the job with a lot of thought and a relocation.
 Turns out that it was just what I needed. I have been through all the meetings, met my class, and began the daily routine of teaching the same students in the same building, and working with the same staff every day. I have been treated with respect. I have been trusted. I don't have to proove myself. I don't feel like I am walking on pins and needles anymore trying to get hired or win approval. Parents have complemented me and the administrator has visited my room a few times. I kept expecting criticism and nit picking for every little thing that I was doing wrong. It was nice not to have that.
Living in a new place and giving up so much has been a good choice. Sometimes it just takes looking outside the box and being willing to go somewhere new. I was tired of most of the people around me and I was tired of trying to proove myself. Just before summer when  I had to unwillingly step down from my coaching position, that was the end for me. I could not live like that anymore. I miss my mountains, my husband, my house, and my animals, but it will all come together in time. I was not willing to sell the house in case I did not like the change or the job. So my husband stayed behind with the house and animals, and the distance is hard on the kids. They want their family together. Maybe in time.
My point in all this....never ever give up on your dreams in life. If there is something that you want to do, make sure that you stay strong through all the failures and rejections and keep pushing through it. It will happen. It did for me and I love where I am today. I am happier.


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