Marriage can be tough, but it can also be easy and enjoyable. One thing everyone always wants to do is "fix" the issue when their spouse vents about issues or concerns. Sometimes just lending an ear, not offering advice or opinions, is important. As difficult of an action as this is it is possible and helps build on the relationship.
It could be the husband or the wife. My husband is on the school board and this is a heated political time. New board members are possible being elected or some re elected.  I noticed my husband was very emotional and upset about someone being dishonest in their facts to him. This candidate was stating things to him and when mu husband asked him to back the facts up, he went into a denial and avoided answers. It was as if the candidate was lying to him. He was telling me about it.
Last week at a marriage counseling session, my husband was called out for lying.The counselor was really handing it to him and he was pushing away and making excuses.
As upset as he got while talking to me about the candidate lying, it would have been easy to point out that he lies a lot too. I kept my mouth shut. Because I kept my mouth shut and did not point out that he lies too, I felt like he had a lot more loving response to me. He felt my support. Biting my tongue was hard, but he got to vent and I could tell he was not looking for me to fix it.
My frustration was that I saw someone taking a problem that they have and pulling it out of another person so they don't have to face it personally. My hope is that my husband comes out of all this political stuff facing his issue. I will sit back and be the ears but not speak through it. I want him to love me and not look at me as a controller and push away.
So when we open our mouths, unless asked directly to help with the solution, we only make the problem worse. The conflict begins in the marriage. As soon as we silence ourselves and just listen, the relationship is built up and grows stronger.

rodeo

I love horses. I love barrel racing. I always have. My family does not consist of rodeo participants or ranchers, but somehow I found it. In high school my friends and I would dream of hitting the rodeo trail and getting swept off our feet by the cowboys. It seemed like it was so far fetched. Turns out that dream was closer than I thought, but reaching the goals within it are close to impossible.
After four years in college, without anything but watching rodeos on tv or when they come to town, I had forgotten the dreams from high school. I never thought I would own another horse. I was trsndformed into a city girl.
Two years later, my roots came back. I owned my first horse. A year after that, a move to the country to live on acerage with the horse.  I purchased a trailer and began going to jackpot barrel races. Over the years and through two horses, I am now purchasing my pro rodeo card and trying to get to as many rodeos as possible.
There is a catch. I am on the rodeo trail but I don't leave my home state much and I don't win a lot.
Rodeo has changed so much over the years. It is all about who wins the most money and that person is the one the focus is on. I do this because I love it. I like the thrill, the adrenaline rush when the crowd roots for me,and the good people I meet along the way. The big money winnners are seen along the way, but they breeze in and out and don't talk much. It is sad.
Although I didn't grow up with it, it was around me and the people that competed in it were wonderful people. It wasn't about the money. When did things change???
It is also a challenge to reach the goals within the sport because I want to be able to compete at Cheyenne Frontier Days, National Western Stock Show, Ft. Worth and many other big rodeos. Getting there when you don't have an automatic horse or did not grow up in a rodeo family is next to impossible. I won't give up. I will keep trying. I can say that at least I am living my dream of being in rodeos, and I can only hope that someday rodeos will go back to what they used to be. A time where everyone went and had fun. There  and everyone helped everyone out and talked to them no matter who it was. Money has gotten in the way of that.